Can this seamstress be saved?

I confess...I'm not a garment maker.  I can easily whip out a doll and even crank out her clothes with no problem, but when it comes to fitting a real live person, I am sewing challenged.  Yesterday, I seemed to forget all that, and found a beautiful piece of fabric to make myself a top...no sleeves, and yes, with a pattern marked with the word EASY in large caps.  A nice fitted dart in the front, and flare out around my, ahem, mid section...so it didn't seem like rocket science.  It's only 2 pieces plus the facing fabric; however, it still posed a great challenge to match the facing to the tunic pieces without them both not meeting up.  How is it that you can cut up two identical pieces, not on the bias, and one ends up an inch longer???  And now it has a gap in the back neck area, cuz I made it a size larger so that it would fit my mid section.  Not sure how to work with that other than to grow my hair real long.

Hubby, in his ever reassuring splendor, commented that "at least you didn't try doing sleeves again."  Ahhh, bless him.  He just had to bring up that knitted sweater I made him many years ago.  Hmm, maybe his right arm has grown longer since then, what with all the reaching he has to do while falling out of chairs laughing at my garment construction...

So, when will I learn?  I suppose never.  I really want to create beautiful things to wear, so I'll probably keep trying.  But the real truth is that the garment sewing trophy goes to my mom.  She has a knack for fitting a piece perfectly to the individual.  I should know, as my bridesmaids were just stunning!  Wonder if she'd give this old gal another lesson?